Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Our Second Joy: When We First Found Out

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

This is totally unexpected hahah. We planned to start TTC on March 2016 so that the baby will arrived when Afnan is 2 years old. But Allah's plan is always the best, right? Just like during my pregnancy with Afnan, I like to record the journey insya Allah. May this pregnancy went smooth and better like before.

1 Dec 2015
Feeling a bit uneasy. Uncomfortable. Badan rasa tak sedap. By tengahari, muntah untuk pertama kali. Masa ni dah pelik. Last muntah2 ni masa morning sicknesss Afnan. Could this be another pregnancy? Jeng jeng jeng!

2 Dec 2015
Muntah lagi pagi. Throughout the week, rasa takde selera, cepat lapar, tapi makanan tak boleh masuk. Loya sepanjang masa. I agreed with my husband, kalau seminggu macamni, kita buat pregnancy test.

7 Dec 2015
Sepanjang hari badan lemah, loya yang teruk, muntah 3 kali. Ada hint of sakit pinggang. Texted my husband and asked him to buy the pregancy test.

8 Dec 2015
5am: I did the test and voila!

Positive Alhamdulillah! Tapi tak tahu lagi dah berapa minggu. Next month la kot pegi checkup insya Allah, or end of this month.

Nausea on off. Kadang-kadang eh betul ke pregnant ni. Tapi nak tunggu hujung bulan baru pegi cek klinik.

Yang penting lapar setiap masa dan sembelit huhu. Sama macam masa pregnant Afnan dulu.

Feelings: As I said before, this is unexpected. But all in all, I'm grateful and excited at the same time. A bit sad for Afnan, kena betul2 plan Afnan's journey before his sister/brother arrived. Spend masa banyak2. Teach him to handle and take care of  himself. Teach him to help Ummi and Abah. Of course it will never be the same again kan bila dah ada sibling. May all is well until 40weeks of the pregnancy. Amin.

UPDATES

Almost 2 weeks tiba-tiba nausea dah takde, lapar tak konsisten. Almost no pregnancy symptom.

We went for an Ultrasond scan, on 21 Dec, there is a sac inside the womb Alhamdulillah, and a very thin line (supposedly the baby). No heartbeat. Doc said to come back after three weeks unless there is a bleeding or anything worrying.

23 Dec; I had a brownish spotting/stain.

24 Dec around midnight: I was bleeding. Bright red. Tak banyak macam period tapi tak juga terlalu sikit.

25 Dec: Went to see the Doc, the sac still in good shape, intact and everything. No sight of baby and no hearbeat. Doc gave multivitamin.

26 Dec: Bleeding on and off. now there is some clot sometimes. SOmetimes bright red, sometimes dark red. Sometimes, I'm having a little pain.Sekiranya kandungan dan kelahiran baby ni, memberi kebaikan kepada kami sekeluarga, meningkatkan iman, baby dalam keadaan yang sihat dan terbaik, juga umminya, peliharalah kami berdua. Sekiranya tidak, kami redha. :')

27 Dec: Took my evening bath at around 4pm, felt extremely starange around my tummy and downwards, macam menggelebeh terturun. Blodd clot dah banyak. Confuse sendiri, perut aku tak terturun pun macam ni sebelum ni (wpun buncit sikit hihu) Suddenly, a real pain struck. Nak berpijak pun sakit. Woke up my husband, had to tell my MIL. Pergi klinik. Sebab Ahad, banyak klinik tutup. Last sekali balik dulu, nak tunggu esok isnin baru pegi klinik lagi sekali.

Maghrib: i was officially miscarriaged. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihirojiun.. Masa taip ni pun rasa sedih lagi. Masa the 'baby' keluar, husband was at the masjid. Depan MIL and SIL aku control je la, bila suami dah balik, terus nangis....

28 Dec: D&C dan mula berpantang.

will wrote another about the miscarriage.

ps: this entry was written mengikut tarikh hence the different emotions at the beginning. :')